Funnyism

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Vanilla Ranger 14885 points

Vanilla Ranger

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Well folks, here's your update: I have found out who my yandere stalked is. She's this quiet, nerdy girl in all my classes, named Sophia. I caught her on video, sneaking into my room... FROM THE HALLWAY. After showing this to the police, I was informed that she was apparently entering thru the fire escape in my stepdad's office. She is now in a psychiatric hospital. Hallelujah on Are ya ready kids? (Upvotes: 104)
Officially creeped out.... I recieved a note in my locker yesterday. It reads: Roses are red Like the blood on my shoe If you don't love me, Then your room will be, too. I watch you at night I know you so well I stole your black hoodie 'Cause I like how it smells I love you so much Whether awake or asleep I love when you laugh I hurt when you weep I saw you get hit By your stepdad last night I can change that for you And make everything right I saw that bitch Carry Reject you at school When she shot you down She was the real fool But it'll all be okay It'll work out, you'll see Because no matter what You will always have me Along with this were some pictures of the inside of my room. Most of them focused on my sleeping body. I called the police, and they said it was probably just a prank, and this doesn't happen, usually. They said if I get any "real" proof, I could see them again. FML. on Funny Pics (Upvotes: 134)
Yeah as I was waiting for my plane to Vegas this morning I did this... A very pretty young lady. I was looking at my book. I didn't notice her. She cleared her throat and stared at me. I said, "Oh, uhhhhhhhhhh...." After staring for WAY too long I offered my hand and said, "Hi, I'm Braedyn." She shook my hand, saying, "I'm Gwen. It's nice to meet you. What are you reading there?" I started talking about my book and we ended up talking for the next thirty minutes. Eventually, she laughed, saying, "I completely forgot to say what I was trying to from the very beginning!" I laughed in reply and said, "Oh? What was it?" She got real close. Close enough I could smell her shampoo in her strawberry blonde hair. "Could you please give me back my phone?" I stared at her, clueless. She pointed at my seat. I stood up, and, of course, her phone was right under my scrawny ass. She picked it up and walked away. She did not look at me again, even after we got to Vegas and I apologized for my rudeness on Oh, Ok (Upvotes: 70)
This reminds me! I got a LOVELY letter from my yandere stalker (if anyone remembers me talking about her a few months back), about how much she misses me, and how she knows I miss her too, and how she can't wait til we can "be together again." (her words. NOT mine.) FML on Funny Pics (Upvotes: 55)
i jumped out of a tree in my backyard onto my trampoline (as suggested by my stepsister's fiance) in september. when i landed, my knees shot straight up to my chin, and i spat blood and pieces of teeth all over the trampoline. deciding not to be a snitch, i stumbled up the stairs, walked over to my mother like a drunk, and told her i had fallen onto my fist. ashe believed me, because I am very tall and rather well-built, and therefore VERY clumsy. i then threw up and passed out in my blood and vomit. six of teeth were chipped... on Jumping on a frozen trampoline (Upvotes: 47)

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